These past two days have been absolute hell.

Wanna know why? Here's a long story short: 

I've liked this guy who works at Starbucks for the past four months, and slowly, I've been getting to know him. This past week, I realized that he's crushing on Amber, and I took her conversational skills as flirting. I got offended...because I knew she knew that I liked him. I suppose...I just got jealous or defensive or whatever. I was angry, upset, and guilty all at once. I was angry because she was flirting with him, but I was guilty because I was mad at her. I mean -- it's a rule without being said that you never steal another girl's crush/boyfriend/whatever. So Friday, at school, I was trying so hard not to be a bitch towards her, and I ended up venting to THREE people about the situation. One of them, of course, being Morgan. Apparently, word gets out that I was spreading rumours about Amber, which I clearly wasn't. I was just let my bottled up anger out, and someone, though I don't know who, let the word get out. Bitchass people.

Amber and I were in an argument, which depressed me to the most extreme. Morgan was trying so hard to cheer me up, and I love her for doing that <3. To get to the point, she wasn't trying to flirt with him. She didn't mean to if she did -- she was just being friendly. But Amber was trying to protect me. One of the guy's friends asked her if she would date the guy I like...and...she said no because there was a complication. I think about it now...and she should've told me that earlier. Amber was simply trying to protect me. I wouldn't have jumped to conclusion, but if she likes him, she should go after him because he clearly doesn't like me, which I 'm okay with. Amber's use to getting any guy she wants...but...I'm not. I suck at trying to get a guy -- at least -- one that is appealing to me. Either way, Amber says she won't date him just because I like him. But whatever right? My feelings don't really matter -- to me...at least.

Am I going to pursue this guy? Nah. I'm just gonna make friends with him, and hopefully, I'll get that because right now, I think I just want that. I may want more...but I don't want to push my luck. This weekend just sucks for all of my friends. It's not fair.

If I could change the past, I would. Things would be different.

None of my friends would be like this. None. I don't want them to feel like this ever. Yet, I feel like such a horrible person. I don't know why. [By the way, Alabama just totally lost the game]

Aside from the shit, I bought Antonio Melani boots and I absolutely love them. Fergie is right when it comes to Labels or Love.

But as for Morgan, I'm worried about her. Incredibly. I hated to be the one to tell her about Kyle, but there was no easy way to tell her. I had to be blunt about it. There's no way that anyone can sugarcoat such a thing. She deserves so much better after what I've put her through this entire week...

I guess...I'll end it on this note: 

Alabama. Just. Fucking. Lost.