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28 March 2009 @ 11:30 pm
I played video games today.

And, it felt good. Real good. Almost like sex but not really. It definitely put me in a better mood.

If all else fails, turn to video games.
 
 
28 March 2009 @ 12:35 pm
I don't think I'll go to prom if Blake can't go.

It's not worth it -- too much trouble.

I'll find something better to do on my Saturday Night and go against my teenage rules about always go to your senior prom.

I'm alone in so many ways. It's not funny. But, in a way, that's kind of comforting to me.
 
 
27 March 2009 @ 03:18 pm
I kinda feel like the entire world is mad at me right now.
 
 
Current Mood: crappycrappy
 
 
Staying in New York was the funnest four days of my life. I was with people from my school, and they're pretty much my friends. I like them well enough, and we were all awesome. There was absolutely no tension except for Lizzy who bitched half the time.

Wednesday:

Got up a 3:45 AM to go drive to Atlanta to catch my flight. Lizzy and Gabe rode with me, and it was kinda awkward but they slept anyways. By the time we got to the airport, we were all exhausted already and just chilled around the sitting area. Then, we boarded and took off half an hour later because there was a slight delay. Anyways, the flight was alright. When we got to the airport, all of us were incredibly excited and ecstatic. The weather was actually nice - 60's. So, we hailed a taxi and drove to the Hotel which was pretty fancy. Our rooms were decent, and I was rooming with Bonnie, Becca, and Claire. We all have pretty good temperaments. We got dressed for opening ceremonies, walked to Rockerfellar Center and got Subway for Dinner and then back to the hotel to go to the UN. Opening Ceremonies was boring, but what else do you expect? We all were exhausted anyways and ended up falling asleep. Then, after Opening Ceremonies, we went back to the hotel to debate. Let me tell you, I only spoke once because I didn't care about debating. I just wanted to see the sights and travel around. Anyways, after a long ass debate session, we all went back to our rooms to relax. Then, sleep, which was good.

Thursday:

We wake up extra early to go out and some fun. We take the subway to Brooklyn Bridge and walk across it. It was amazing by the way. Then, we walked around trying to find Alexander Hamilton's grave, which we eventually did. Oh, we also went to Ground Zero which was incredibly sad, of course. After Ground Zero, we walked around some more. At some point in the walk, we ran into some people filming. What they were filming, I don't know. Who knows, maybe we're in a movie or some shit. We had lunch at another Deli, and literally, powerwalked back to hotel because it was raining so hard. We also had to get ready for committee. We dressed up and went to go debate after lunch. I patiently waited 'til dinner, and we went to some really expensive Irish place -- St. Andrew's. It was pretty good despite being a thirty dollar meal. Another Committee session ensued. Then, I patiently waited again. After that, we went back upstairs and went to bed.

Friday:

Committee in the morning. I waited for lunch. We went to this place called Kikku's with Aaron and Bonnie, which was alright. They had really good dumplings. Went back to the hotel for another committee session. Then, I waited for dinner. We changed and went about Chinatown and Little Italy. I haggled for some people in Chinese -- very successful. We ate at this little Italian place, and it was super good. I absolutely loved my Fettucine Alfredo. Then, after shopping, we headed to Times Square, which is amazing at night and explored around for a bit at the M&M shop, Toys R Us, and other places. After that, we went back to the hotel and got some rest.

Saturday:

Closing Ceremonies and Plenary Session was a bitch. Longest ass hours of my life. Completely pointless. Anyways, after that, we went back to the hotel, collected our bearings, and went to Natural Museum of History and Central Park. Central Park is incredibly beautiful. I loved it. Oh, and we went to this toy store which was incredibly fun. I loved it. I got some stuff for people and shit. Did I mention that somewhere on this day I bought a new purse? Anyways, dinner --> pizza place. pretty good. Then, Baker, our chaperone, allowed us to go to Times Square to shop. On the way there, we hit up H&M. IT WAS THE SHIZ. It's my favorite store next to forever21. zomg. Then, I don't remember much. All else was hazy.

Sunday:

We came back....even if I didn't want to.

It was a good trip, and everyone was good. I think I know more things about myself now. And, I realized, I'm a city girl. I LOVED walking around the big city 'til my legs would fall or break off. Then, when my mom picked me up, she told me UT Austin rejected me, and I wanted to cry. Because, it was a beacon of hope for me that I could escape. I realized...I don't want to go to UA. I really don't. I want to anywhere else but there. It's not a bad place, but I just...don't. I loved New York. I could really live there, and I want to. I wanna go to school there, live there, and work there. I'm depressed right now. Only because I don't want to settle for UA. I want so much more for myself. I'm going back to New York. I don't care. I felt like myself there. I felt like I belonged. I was just another face in the crowd, and I want it to stay like that. 

I'm getting the fuck out of this shithole, regardless.

 
 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
 
 
17 March 2009 @ 11:26 pm
NYC.  
I'M SO EXCITED.
I CAN'T HIDE IT.
YEAAAAAH!
 
 
 
14 March 2009 @ 12:58 pm
i hate selfish people more than anything.
i understand the need to take care yourself once in a while but think about others too, okay?
when i go to BHAM Sunday, and leave for NYC Wednesday, I'm forgetting about all you people.
and the troubles that you bring me.
i just wanna be another face in the crowd.
nothing more.
 
 
10 March 2009 @ 11:05 pm
my life is redundant.
i'm so depressed.
i'm mad at a friend.
i don't like hypocrite
i have five pet peeves so far.
i want a guy who'll listen and care for once.
i want rbh, so bad.
SO BAD.
 
 
03 February 2009 @ 08:17 pm
here we go, ladies and gents.

1. I seriously am named after Connie Chung, the ex-news anchor woman who is married to Maury.

2. My happiness tends to bounce off of people. By this, I mean when something’s wrong with a person, I won’t be happy ‘til they’re happy. I will always put someone else before me because that’s just how I work. A little unhealthy – I know.

3. If I could have a lunch date with any man in the world, it might be one of them: Morgan Freeman, Robert Boyd Holbrook, Sean Connery, and Hugh Laurie.

4. Don’t ever make promises to me and NOT keep them – that’s the very last thing you want to do because I will be very bitter and angry about it. Chances are I won’t ever put that much trust in you again.

5. There are seriously only a few people in this world that actually understand me, and for that, I’m thankful.

6. I absolutely love key lime pie.

7. The thought of being alone doesn’t scare me so much anymore…for some reason, I find peace in that.

8. In the future, I can see myself being a single mom. Don’t ask why.

9. I may not show it and they probably don’t think it…but I do care about my family.

10. When I was in 7th grade, I had Bell’s palsy – that’s when I started to care what I actually looked like.

11. Telling almost everyone that I love them is absolutely necessary.

12. The limelight is definitely not for me. I’d rather be another face in the crowd.

13. Surprisingly, I did go through a goth and punk phase in middle school. It’s a good thing there aren’t any pictures of that atrocity.

14. I don’t believe in Church, but I do believe in God.

15. The chance of me taking a bullet for a stranger is high.

16. My Friday nights are officially dedicated to NERF.

17. Nirvana was the first band I became obsessed with.

18. There are times where I get scared everyone else is moving on without me because I take forever catching up.

19. I’m a packrat. It’s hard for me to throw almost anything away.

20. Robert Boyd Holbrook has been current man obsession for quite some time.

21. When I was three or four, I fell on top of a barbecue pit that was turned off but still hot to touch. Now, I have a scar on my left armpit from my second degree burns.

22. Most of my best friends are blondes.

23. I haven’t seen one of my best friends [SARAH] for a few years – sometimes, I stay up thinking about how we would play Balderdash ‘til two in the morning with your mom on Christmas Eve.

24. I’ve lost one of my best friends due to lack of communication, and I am really sorry. Sometimes, I wonder if we can catch up with time…perhaps.

25. This is one of the hardest things to write.
 
 
26 January 2009 @ 04:02 pm
This week has been incredibly drama and stress filled. Sometimes, I keep thinking and asking myself if it all really happened.

First of all. I've liked this guy named Jim. He's absolutely nice and hilarious. The only problem is that he has a fuck buddy, and he's cheated on all his girlfriends, except one. Just because she cheated on him. What the fuck? I'm retarded or something because this almost never happens. Jesus. Then, I told Paul, and Paul put me on a time line to ask him out, but once we found out about the cheating, he immediately released me from it, which I am thankful for. Then, there was Charles, who scared me away pretty much. He's a nice guy -- just came on a little too strong. He started touching me after the third or fourth time I've talked to him, and I didn't like that. It takes me a while to get to know a person.

Charles wanted to go on a date, but I was completely sure that I didn't like him at all. I like Jim. But, now, I'm incredibly disappointed and depressed. I really wanted to give Jim a chance to prove himself that he could be worth it, but I don't think I'm that person for him. Honestly, I suck at this thing called romance, crush, love, etc. After telling Charles that I didn't want to date him, he acted like he was all superior and such a snobass about it. I'm sick of this. Absolutely sick.

I think the only person that would understand me at this point would be Paul -- for the opposite sex, at least. He listened and let me do all the talking, since that's what he does. He's the guy who knits and who can't hug people. I found it funny how he read me like a book -- actually -- I was completely amazed. Then, Eamon ended up pouring his dark secrets out, and I was shocked by the shit he's been through. 

Damn.

It made me realize how harsh life can really be on one person, especially for him.

This is so fucked up right now. I'm ready for LIMUN and this weekend. Actually, I'm ready for this school year to be over. I wanna graduate. Go to college, and get the fuck away from this hell hole.

 
 
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: another heart calls by all american rejects
 
 
22 January 2009 @ 12:02 am
so, there's this guy I like.
BUT HIS FRIEND LIKES ME.
I'm fucked.